Tag Archives: Jokes

Dave Chappelle – killing them softly ( COMPLETE )

Dave Chappelle – killing them softly ( COMPLETE )

Dave Chappelle returns to D.C. and riffs on politics, police, race relations, drugs, Sesame Street and more.

DAVE CHAPPELLE is a successful comedian, screenwriter, and actor. CHAPPELLE’S laid-back yet socially attuned style of comedy has made him a favorite among all ages and races. As an actor he’s appeared alongside some of Hollywood’s biggest names in films such as THE NUTTY PROFESSOR, CON AIR, YOU’VE GOT MAIL, UNDERCOVER BROTHER and BLUE STREAK. CHAPPELLE also co-wrote and starred in the sidesplitting prison caper HALF BAKED. Now laugh out loud as you spend 60 hilarious minutes with DAVE CHAPPELLE as he sounds off on everyone within earshot. Originally aired on HBO in 2000, “Killin’ Them Softly” is without a doubt one of the funniest standup specials available. You’ll never laugh more than you will here. Dave spares no victim as he addresses issues about the Police, Racism, Sesame Street, Kids, and the Government. It’s hilarious! Comedy doesn’t get any better than this! Welcome DAVE CHAPELLE’S “Killin’ Them Softly” to the prestigious PLATINUM COMEDY SERIES. Bringing you the funniest comedians in America!

Killin’ Them Softly is easily one of HBO’s best comedy specials, catching star Dave Chappelle at a career high in 2000 and with an abundance of hysterical, highly polished material. Taking his time, stretching concepts and bits like a master, Chappelle plunges into a wealth of anecdotes and observations about the influx of white people into Washington, D.C. (where this show was recorded) since the 1980s. (“Who are the scariest people? White guys in black gangs. No telling what they did to get respect.”) There are fantastic tales of racing cops with Chappelle’s white friend, Chip, and a great story about being left alone in a limousine outside a busy crack house. Other good stuff: introducing a kid to a PePe Le Pew cartoon and realizing too late the skunk is a sex criminal, and why we should know our 911 calls will end up played on television. –Tom Keogh

DeMotivational Posters aka DeMotivators

Demotivational Posters (a.k.a Demotivators) are typically designed to discourage one’s moral strength and diminish one’s self-esteem. It usually consists of a picture, centered and bordered in black, with an all-cap title written in white, and in some cases, a tagline written in smaller font.

In its infancy, Demotivators mirrored popular themes often addressed within motivational posters, by juxtaposing:

1. banal optimism (ex: PERSISTENCE)
2. atmospheric picture (ex: man & woman jogging in a single row)
3. comical pessimism (ex: It’s Over Man. Let Her Go)

But as they became increasingly popular across the web, the joke was no longer bound within corporate/educational themes and became a signature meme involving “crude but funny” comments. Today, the white-on-black format of demotivators is a staple in Internet memescape and it’s fairly common to find demotivational posters sans cynicism.

The originals were typical Motivational Posters with sarcastic comments:
Although a whole genre of Demotivational Posters has been created by showing an instance of FAIL:

 

 

Check out our De-Motivational Poster Gallery HERE

A Blonde’s house is on fire…

A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone.
“Please state the nature of your emergency,” says the operator.
“Help! My house is on fire!” the blonde replies.
“Okay, where do you live?”
“In a house you silly billy!” the blonde replies.
“No,no! How do we get there?” the operator asks fustratedly.
“Duh! Big Red Truck!!

Blonde’s Got Mail

A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blonde) walks out, checks her mail only to see that it’s empty, and goes back inside.
Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that it’s still empty, and goes back in.
The third time she comes out, the man asks her, “Excuse me, is there a problem?”
The blonde replies, “Darn right there’s a problem! My computer keeps on telling me ‘I’ve got mail’!”

Blonde on a Farm…

A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00.
Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.
Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.
The farmer says, “Alright then, I’ll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?”
The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, “It’s $1.00 per word.” The brunette thinks about this and says,”Comfortable, write that.”
“Comfortable?” the guy questions.
“Yes, you see she reads slow.”